Ugh, Christ, this again? • • □ YouTube □ Facebook □ Twitter □ □ □ Follow @TheOnion Show/Hide Navigation • Video • Politics • Sports • Business • Science/Tech • Local • Entertainment • More [Search ] Back [Search ] • Video • Politics • Sports • Business • Science/Tech • Entertainment • Breaking Nelson Mandela Becomes First Politician To Be Missed News in Brief • Breaking • World • death • politicians • world leaders • News • ISSUE 49•49 • Dec 5, 2013 [wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAQAAkAAAIKhI] • Facebook63.7K • Twitter15.1K • Google Plus1.9K JOHANNESBURG—Following the death of former South African president and civil rights leader Nelson Mandela today at the age of 95, sources confirmed that the revered humanitarian has become the first politician in recorded history to actually be missed. “Today we lost not only an international hero and a symbol of the resilient human spirit, but also the very first political figure ever who people actively wish was still alive and affecting world affairs,” said political historian Wallace M. Delaney of Columbia University, adding that Mandela will long be remembered for enduring 27 years in prison in the fight against apartheid, championing equality across the globe, and standing alone as the only world leader whose passing left the international community grief-stricken and feeling a palpable void in their lives. “Certainly people have felt a sense of sorrow at the deaths of politicians in the past, but Nelson Mandela’s death is the only one on record that people everywhere unanimously agree has left the world notably worse off. I miss him, we all miss him—and that’s entirely unprecedented in the world of politics.” Delaney added that he could not predict who might be the second politician to be missed by humanity, but confirmed there were no viable candidates anywhere out there right now. PreviousNew Google Streep View To Provide Panoramic Imagery ... Next Inconsiderate Woman On Bus Eating Live Tuna More News in Brief [wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAQAAkA] Local Church Full Of Brainwashed Idiots Feeds Town’s Poor Every Week MACON, GA—Sources confirmed today that the brainwashed morons at First Baptist Assembly of Christ, all of whom blindly accept whatever simplistic fairy tales are ... [wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAQAAkA] Dad’s Tough Exterior Hides Angry, Resentful Center SAGINAW, MI—Sources close to local father Wayne Abrams confirmed Thursday that, while his tough exterior might initially fool casual observers, the 45-year-old’s gruff ... [wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAQAAkA] Man On First Date Cunningly Leaves Behind One Of His Fingers At Woman’s House CHICAGO—Seeking to ensure a second date with local woman Rebecca Murphy, marketing analyst Mark Klinger cleverly removed his right pinky finger during their date ... Breaking God Admits He Never Created GerbilsCollege Coach Accused Of Receiving Payment Nelson Mandela Becomes First Politician To Be MissedGrisly Remains Of 15 Hobbits Discovered In Peter Jackson’s AtticMan Confidently Hits ‘Send’ On Worst Job Application Company Has Ever SeenUnclear Whether Grandpa Having Good Time Nation Has To Sell Lake HouseCancer Researchers: ‘Don’t Get Cancer’Breaking: Intruders Detected In Zone 17BREAKING: Authorities Currently Racing Down Highway To Arrest You For Crime You Didn’t Commit Recent Videos [wAAACH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAAQAAkAAAI] The Onion's Tips For Last Minute Holiday Shopping The Onion Looks Back At 'It's A Wonderful Life'Onion Year In Review [565] • Movie Review: The yakuza sequel Beyond Outrage is less urgent than its predecessor • Movie Review: The Marked Ones is a Paranormal Activity movie in name only • TV Club: The Big Bang Theory: "The Hesitation Ramification" • Mustache Pacifier • Goodnight iPad Book • Bacon Christmas Ornament • Tough Season - Championship - Ep. 8 (Brought To You By Lenovo) • The Onion's Tips For Last Minute Holiday Shopping • The Onion Looks Back At 'It's A Wonderful Life' Follow The Onion • • • Receive The Newsletter [ ][ ]Daily[ ]Weekly[Submit] • Personals • FAQ • Contact Us • Jobs • Media Kit • Privacy Policy • Franchising • RSS & Apps The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2014 Onion Inc. All rights reserved ComscoreNielsenQuantcast