How to Critique Fiction
by Victory Crayne
Copyright © 1995-2012 Victory Crayne. All
rights reserved.
See Also:
"Career Plan for Fiction Writers"
"How to Succeed in an Online Writing Workshop"
Writing Resources (links)

How to Critique Fiction
by Victory Crayne
Introduction
Ever wonder how some critics can find some weaknesses
in your work whereas others gloss right over them?
You pour your energy and nine-tenths of your soul into a story.
Night and day you wrestle with yourself over every page, every
word at your keyboard, typewriter, or notepad. You are writing
every day, aren't you? At last, you're finished! With nervous
anxiety you take the next daring step - letting someone else,
maybe another writer, editor, friend, or even enemy open to the
first page and start reading.
You wonder - is this your masterpiece? Have you learned at last
how to write a best seller? You really tried hard to do so much
better on this one. You wait, as if standing in front of the
judge at your murder trial. Will the verdict be 'Not Guilty'?
Will the jury yell and wave their arms in praise?
Or - will you hear those awful words - 'GUILTY of Bad Writing'?
A professional learns to systematically organize their knowledge
of how to write well. One area of knowledge is how to do a
professional critique - a really detailed, rip it up and tear it
apart critique, hitting it from all angles, until every weakness
stands raw and exposed.
Here is a checklist of points and questions on many aspects of
fiction writing that may be useful to you - or your chosen
favorite critic - in evaluating works of fiction.
There are many different styles of critiquing, of course. The
checklist and questions presented here are offered as food for
thought, not as a strict set of rules. Very few people will try
to answer every one of these points/questions.
After you finish your next piece, or part of it, set it aside for
a few days. Then haul out this article, put on your Critic Hat,
and go through these questions for your work.
See you on the Bestseller's List!
Table of Contents
- The critique process
- Let the author know if this is not your favorite type of story.
- Write down your impressions as a reader.
- Try to give feedback on what could be changed.
- Give examples of improvements, if possible.
- Praise where praise is due.
- Never criticize the author personally.
- Critique as you would want to be critiqued.
- The checklist (things to look for)
- Opening
- Conflict
- Plot
- Setting
- Characterization
- Dialogue
- Point of View
- Show versus tell
- Format of the text
- Grammar and spelling
- Style
- Some tips
- Tell if it's not your favorite kind of story.
- Don't be afraid to critique something if you're not familiar with the genre.
- Read how other critiques are done.
- Consider the target readers.
- Give your relevant experiences (optional).
- Short stories versus novels.
- Recommended reading
- For fiction in general
- For science fiction
- Misc.Writing's recommended reading list
- Acknowledgements
1. The critique process
- Don't read other critiques of this story yet.
Doing so would likely bias your review. The author would much
prefer your unbiased and fresh impression.
- Write down your impressions as a reader.
Was the story captivating from the very first few paragraphs? Did
you enjoy reading it? What type of person would this book appeal
to? Do you think that the story or book has sales potential?
- Try to give feedback on what could be changed.
Remember, the purpose of writing a critique is twofold: (1)
identify the weaknesses in the piece and (2) offer some
constructive advice to the author that might lead to improvement
in the story. To just bash the story without providing something
useful to the author is not really being professional.
- Give examples of improvements, if possible.
When you give an example of a better way to do what you pointed
out, you make your point much clearer to the author. As they say,
'an example is worth a thousand words'.
- Praise where praise is due.
Did you remember to add some positive comments on the piece,
where the author did something you thought was very good?
"I feel I have a decent critical eye. But when I think I see a
touchdown, I cheer. That's feedback, too. Why should all the
mistakes find their targets, but the successes meet with only
silence--leaving the poor writer, who has poured out her/his
heart, with nothing but: no, no, no, ... As [critics], don't we
have a responsibility to not only point out what needs changing,
as we see it, but also what worked and why, so the writer WON'T
change it and will be encouraged to produce more of the same?" -
J. R. Lankford (Jilla).
"We all need to be told where we are very good as well as where
we are very, very bad. We cannot grow, otherwise." - Pete
Murphy
"I think there's a sometimes overlooked purpose in critiquing and
that is to identify the strengths in a story as well, to offer
encouragement and positive reinforcement in regard to those
strengths, thereby preventing the possibility that the author
will change, for the worse, those things that make the story
good." - Debra Littlejohn Shinder
- Never criticize the author personally. Focus your attention
on the story as written.
- Critique as you would want to be critiqued.
Ask yourself before you post or mail a critique: Is this an
example of the way I would like to be treated?
2. The checklist (things to look for)
- Opening
Do the first few sentences or paragraphs of the story grab your
attention? Do they present the protagonist's main problem?
Remember how you judge a book or story when you first see it in a
bookstore. Don't we often base our decision to buy or not buy
upon those first few sentences? Did this author grab your
attention fast enough?
- Conflict
- By conflict, I do not mean lots of slam-bam action. Conflict
is "The mental or moral struggle caused by incompatible desires
and aims. That is the kind of conflict that makes stories vitally
alive." - Ben Bova in "The Craft of Writing Science Fiction That
Sells".
- Is there emotional conflict WITHIN the main character?
Between the main characters? Emotional conflict is part of what
gets readers interested. For example: love vs. loyalty; greed vs.
duty; fear vs. desire; revenge vs. self-doubt.
- Are there too many or not enough conflicts?
"The writer's job is to be a troublemaker! Stir up as many levels
of conflict and problems for your protagonist (hero) as you can.
Let one set of problems grow out of another. And never, never,
never solve a problem until you've raised at least two more. It
is the unsolved problems that form the chain of promises that
keeps the reader interested." - Ben Bova.
Until the end, of course, when all the conflicts should be
resolved.
- Is there enough conflict between the characters? Is it
expressed through action, dialogue, attitudes, or values? Were
the characters sufficiently contrasted? Or did they seem to be
totally satisfied with their roles? Did they have the potential
to transform each other?
- Plot
- Was the main plot clear and believable?
- Did the main character have a clearly defined problem to
solve? Did you feel by the end of the piece that this problem
was solved or did the character become resolved to live with
it?
- Were you able to determine the time and place of the story
quickly enough?
- Did the story start at the right place? Did it end at the
right place in the plot?
- Are there scenes which do not seem to further the plot?
- Were there too many flashbacks, which broke your
attention?
- If the piece was a short story, were there too many subplots?
If the piece was a novel, could it be improved by more attention
to the subplots or have more subplots? Conversely, does it have
too many subplots and you got confused about what was
happening?
- Was every subplot useful? Did it add to the overall story or
did the author seem to stick it in just for complexity?
- Pacing: Did the plot/subplots move fast enough to keep the
reader's attention?
- Resolution of conflict: Did the conflict and tension in the
plots and subplots come to some reasonable ending? Or did the
author leave us hanging, wondering what happened? When you
finished, were there things that you still felt needed to be
explained?
If the author did leave some conflict unresolved, did they
indicate somewhere that future stories are pending?
- Setting
- Is there enough description of the background in the story to
paint a picture that seems real enough for the reader? Did you
feel that you were transported to 'that time or place'?
- Was there too much description so modern readers might tend
to become bored? Was the description written with cliches?
- Did the author use good enough names for people, places, and
things? Names help set the tone for a story. Were some names of
people hard to keep track of? Did some names seem inconsistent
with the character? Were the names too stereotypical?
"The reader would have a tough time imagining a two-fisted hero
named Elmer Small, but James Retief comes across just fine as a
hero in Keith Laumer's stories. Similarly, Bubbles La Toure is
hardly the name of a saintly nun, whereas Modesty Blaise is a
sexy and intriguing name for a female counterpart of James Bond."
- Ben Bova.
- Did the author convince you that people in that time or place
would behave that way?
- Is the timing and order of events in the story consistent?
For example, did John drive his new car on his vacation in
chapter six but it wasn't until chapter ten that he bought it?
- Characterization
- Did the people seem real? Or were the main characters
stereotypes or one-dimensional cardboard characters?
- Were the facts about the characters accurate and
consistent?
"It's very important in building characters to make sure your
'facts' are accurate and consistent. If you mention in chapter
two that your sister's birth sign is Leo, and then in chapter
twelve, you have her celebrating her birthday during a snowfall
(unless she lives at the north pole [or in the southern
hemisphere]), credibility will be lost. Even if the reader
doesn't key in on exactly 'what' is wrong with the picture,
he/she will have a disquieting sense that 'something' is." -
Debra Littlejohn Shinder
- People do not exist in a vacuum. They have family, friends, a
job, worries, ambitions, etc. Did you get a sense of enough of
these, but not too much, for the main characters?
- Did you get a good picture of the culture, historical period,
location, and occupation of the main character?
- Did you get enough of a sense of paradoxes within the
character? Enough of their emotions, attitudes, values?
- Backstory: Were you distracted by too much background
information of a character at one time? Did the author seem to
dump a lot of information on the background of a character in one
or two long speeches, or did we learn about that character here
and there in smaller pieces?
- Did the protagonist undergo some change in the story?
- Could the story have been improved by adding more details of
the protagonist's or another character's reputation; stereotyped
beliefs; their network of relations to other people; habits and
patterns; talents and abilities; tastes and preferences; or
physical description of their body?
- Does each chapter/page have enough sensory description? Can
the reader easily sense what is happening physically to the main
character? Were there enough words of sight, sound, touch, smell,
or taste?
- If the story used a person as the antagonist (villain), did
they seem real too? Or did they seem so evil or one-sided that
they were more like ideal villains? Did they have some redeeming
qualities too? Did the villain seem to be a hero in their own
mind?
- Every reader has their own taste in how much characterization
they like. Did this story have too little or too much
characterization for you?
- Dialogue
- Did the words from the mouths of the people in the story seem
consistent with their personalities?
- Was there too much or not enough dialogue, in your opinion?
Usually writers err on the side of not enough dialogue.
- Did any character tend to talk in long monologues?
- Were you able to sense the conflict, attitudes, and
intentions of each character in their dialogue without the author
telling you of these directly?
- Were you able to detect any exchange of power that is sexual,
physical, political, or social?
- Did the dialogue seem easy to speak? Can you 'hear' it? If it
sounds unusual, you might suggest that the writer try reading it
aloud.
- Does the dialogue seem TOO MUCH like normal speech, with too
many incomplete sentences, pauses, restarts, profanity, cliches,
etc. that it was distracting?
- Did the author use dialect that was too heavy, making it
difficult to read?
- Does each character have their own speech rhythm, accent (if
necessary), vocabulary, and even length of sentences?
- In an exchange of conversation, can you easily tell who is
speaking if you didn't have their names or gender attached to
their sentences?
- Point of View
- Was a given chapter or section written from one person's
point of view? Are there too many points of view in the story?
- Did the story skip around between the first person or third
person point of view (POV)? Were the changes in POV signaled
clearly? There is nothing inherently wrong in changing POV, as
long as it is not done too often.
- If the story was written in the third person POV, as most
stories are, did the story stick with the omniscient (all
knowing) POV, use a limited POV (where we don't know everyone's
motives except by clues from their words or actions), or did the
author mix the two? Did the author's choice seem right to you?
"The key point is to get the reader to engage in a contract in
which the writer offers: 'I'm not going to show you everything in
the character's head because that would spoil the story for you.
Instead, I will reveal things as we go along but I promise that I
won't cheat.'" - Trevor Lawrence
- When the POV changed, were you able to quickly sense who the
new viewpoint was from?
- Show versus tell
- When in the POV of a character, did the author describe what
his/her senses showed, e.g., sight, sound, smell, touch, taste?
Or did the author just tell you the dinner was very good?
- Did the author describe exactly how the people acted?
- Was there too much abstract language where specific details
would have made a greater impact on the reader?
- Were there many instancesere of words like "very", "much",
"really", "great", or "nice" when a more detailed description
would have been more colorful?
- Did we get the chance to interpret what the characters were
feeling or did the author just tell us directly? For example, I
once wrote: "Two weeks later, after more hours than he cared to
remember, Jet felt very, very tired" and let it go at that and
missed the opportunity to describe his fatigue instead.
- Format of the text
- Was it easy to read or were the paragraphs too long or the lines
too long (not enough margin)?
- Would it help to put blank lines between paragraphs? If the
piece is to be read on a computer monitor, adding a blank line
between paragraphs will make it much easier for your critics to
read. Note: when you submit the final version to print
publishers, it is best to adhere to their manuscript format (no
blank lines between paragraphs).
- Grammar and spelling
- Was the English readable? Were there too many grammatical
errors, misuse of punctuation, run-on sentences, etc.?
- Did you point out any typos or misspelling? How many times
have you missed that in your writing because you passed over it
without seeing it? Were there so many such errors that they made
reading the piece difficult for you?
- Did the author use too many exclamation points (one of my
weaknesses)?
- Were there any cliches in the narrative? For example, I once
wrote "fruits of mother nature" and "thoughts burning in his
mind", both of which are cliches. In dialogue cliches are okay if
the character would speak that way.
- Did the author use melodrama? For instance, I once wrote:
"With tears in her eyes and barely able to speak, the head nurse
dialed the Chief of Staff. There would be a lot of crying
tonight." Can't you just hear the violins in the background?
- Style
You may wish to comment on the style the story was written in,
e.g., humorous, wordy, sparse, literary, homespun, technical,
etc.
3. Some tips
- Let the author know if this is not your favorite type of
story.
This may help them better understand your viewpoint. Things you
do not like in the story may very well appeal to a fan of that
genre.
- "But don't be afraid to critique something, even if it's
'outside your genre'. There are certain things that are important
to ALL types of fiction, and any good writer/critiquer should be
able to pick them out. I get some of my best critiques from
people who 'never read science fiction'." - Joan Shapiro
- Read how other critiques are done.
"I think reading critiques in general -- perhaps about other
unrelated stories -- can help a new critic see how it's done. For
example, I agree to critique a story -- and because I don't know
any better, I spout off personal preferences ("I don't like
female heroines!" or "Do you really have to use religious
imagery? Religion turns me off." -- when those things may be
central to the story and nothing more than my own tastes).
Reading good critiques may help a newbie learn that a pro offers
objective advice about more tangible problems (character
development, grammar, advancing the plot, use of dialogue)." -
Anthony Boyd
- Consider the target readers.
Do you as a critic have a good idea of the type of readers this
author was writing for? Before you criticize something that you
may not like personally, ask yourself: who are the readers this
author wants to write for? Is this appropriate for that
audience?
- Give your relevant experiences (optional).
If you have some experience or knowledge that is very relevant to
a comment of yours, you might mention it. For instance, when I
found the description of a device in a computer to be in error, I
pointed it out to the author, suggested an alternative that would
be more plausible to computer sophisticated readers, and
qualified my comments by telling her of my years of computer
experience. By the way, she thanked me.
- Short stories versus novels.
- When critiquing a short story, remember that every word must
count. Are there sentences and/or paragraphs that don't appear to
contribute substantially to the story and maybe should be thrown
out?
- Are there too many subplots? In short stories, one subplot
may be okay, but two or more is often just too much.
- Did the author go overboard on flashbacks? Generally in short
stories, flashbacks should be used very sparingly.
- Novels, however, not only allow more room for expression,
talk, details, and moods, but readers of novel expect more.
4. Recommended reading
- For fiction in general
- "Characters and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card
- "Creating Unforgettable Characters" by Linda Seder
- "How to Write a Damn Good Novel" by James N. Frey
- "How to Write a Damn Good Novel, II" by James N. Frey
- "Art of Fiction" by John Gardner
- "Becoming a Novelist" by John Gardner
- "Writing the Breakout Novel" by Donald Maass
- For science fiction
- "How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy" by Orson Scott
Card
- "The Craft of Writing Science Fiction That Sells" by Ben
Bova
- "The Writer's Guide to Creating a Science Fiction Universe"
by George Ochoa and Jeffrey Ogier
- "How to Write Tales of Horror, Fantasy & Science Fiction"
edited by J. N. Williamson
5. Acknowledgements
The author wishes to express sincere gratitude to the following
people who have contributed valuable ideas to this document:
Anthony Boyd, J. R. Lankford (Jilla), Trevor Lawrence, Pete
Murphy, Christopher Olson, Joan Shapiro, and Debra Littlejohn
Shinder.
*** END ***
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