Is It Ever Appropriate To Speculate About A Celebrity's Sexuality?

She didn’t shy away from more personal questions, either: 

@HereIsGina do you identify as straight? #askgina

— Ray (@ay_rayray_) June 21, 2016

I don't need anyone to define their sexuality to me nor do I feel the need to either. I love hearts. Period. https://t.co/DGR7PQT7oS

— Gina Rodriguez (@HereIsGina) June 21, 2016

Her response was met with acclaim and tons of "mic drops", as it should be. Honestly, in this day and age it's time to let go of our gender hang-ups and accept that love is love regardless of labels. However, Rodriguez's exchange with her fan is actually more complex than it seems, and it’s important we discuss why.

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It's not uncommon to speculate on a celebrity's sexual orientation, and - not that I feel bad for them - famous people often have to field personal questions like that. Most recently, in an interview with Nylon, Game of Thrones superstar and everyone's favourite badass Maisie Williams echoed Rodriguez's statement and said:

 

“‘I fall in love with personalities and not people or genders,’ I have no problem with anyone who would want to be labeled, but I also think that it is no one’s business… Do what you want.”

It’s true that celebrities relinquish a certain level of privacy in exchange for fame, but that doesn’t mean they sacrifice all of it. They don’t have to answer questions about their sexuality — or any other question about their personal life — if they don’t want to (everyone is entitled to keep their personal lives personal), but more importantly: we shouldn't care.

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Don't be nosy, it's not cute

Let’s start with the obvious: It is never ok to “out” somebody or force them into disclosing their sexuality if they are uncomfortable doing so. If someone, even a celeb, doesn’t want to talk openly about their sexuality, that is 100% totally their choice.

When it comes to LGBT people, the choice whether or not to disclose their orientation can be a matter of personal safety, and it's important we respect a person's right to privacy no matter how curious we are.

The media is still queasy (and just plain confused) about homosexuality, so asking a celebrity how they identify can be seen as invasive. The reason is because there is still a little lingering conception in the back of society's mind that there is something wrong with homosexuality. 

We seem to assume everyone is straight, as if it were the de-facto sexuality - the norm. If they happen to be gay, to some it’s as if it’s messing up the status quo. When a straight person gets asked whether or not they're gay a lot of the time they're taken aback by the question - or become offended.  

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During a press conference for Legend, a reporter from an LGBT publication did the unthinkable — he asked Tom Hardy if he found it difficult for celebrities to discuss their sexuality, obliquely referencing a 2008 interview in which Hardy said he had been intimate with men. Hardy shut down the reporter and snapped: "What on earth are you on about? I don't find it difficult for celebrities to talk about their sexuality. Are you asking about my sexuality? ... Why?"

He swiftly moved on to other questions. The exchange was uncomfortable, and Hardy later explained why the question was off-putting. He told The Daily Beast: 

 

“I’m under no obligation to share anything to do with my family, my children, my sexuality - that’s nobody’s business but my own. To be quite frank, it’s rude. If he’d have said that to me in the street, I’d have said the same thing back: ‘I’m sorry, who the fuck are you?’”

 

True, it’s none of our business, and it doesn’t matter if you’re gay. If your sex life is consensual and isn’t hurting the people involved then we shouldn’t give a flying fuck about it, because it doesn’t define you - and in the case of celebrities, it doesn’t question their competence. 

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There is nothing shameful about being LGBT, and Hardy could have answered with “no comment” and moved on, but by stating that the question is “rude,” he implied that sexual orientation, at least a non-heterosexual orientation, is something that should not be discussed. 

It further convinces people that being gay (or even asking if someone is gay) is something shameful that needs to be hidden. It’s not, and the LGBT community has been trying to fight this trope for decades. Openly straight Matt Damon also doesn't think actors should talk about their sexuality, but perhaps I'm going off on a tangent... 

As far as i know I get one life. I'm going to live it. No time for negativity. No space for hatred. All love. https://t.co/PcA1mxW6nz

— Gina Rodriguez (@HereIsGina) June 21, 2016

Labels are for clothes

There is nothing dirty or taboo about being gay, and it could be argued that asking someone if they are gay is basically the equivalent of asking if they are married, if they were raised Christian, of if they have a BA.

It is a factual question, but just because sexual orientation affects who a person has sex with, this is not a question about his or her sex life. It’s not the same as asking about which sexual positions a person prefers or what they like to masturbate to - those are personal matters that shouldn't be asked about willy nilly (unless by a BFF after a couple of pints).

Asking someone if they’re gay isn’t necessarily offensive, but our obsession with celebrity sexuality comes from a societal obsession with labels and defining people. Celebrity worship lures us into a false sense of intimacy, and causes us to feel entitled to certain information. 

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Ultimately, it’s not our place to speculate about anyone’s sexuality, nor is it our place to force a label them. While celebs may continue to field personal questions in their career—it comes with the job—that doesn’t mean they has to answer them.

But for future reference, unless you’re curious about someone’s sexual orientation ‘cause you dig them and want to know if you've got a shot with them, you really shouldn’t care. 

Read More -> Why do we care so much about Queen Elsa's sexual identity?