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To be angry at in laws

   (110 Posts)
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   angry that you have lost your family while they are still there? I
   appreciate that losing your Mum and brother like that must have been
   really awful but you cant expect your in laws to be as sad about it as
   you are and I think that missing their golden wedding party was pretty
   unreasonable.
   It’s very good of your in laws to do so much childcare and maybe they
   wanted a break or maybe they’re just assumed wth your DH at home they
   weren’t needed? Sorry but I agree with your DH
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   I agree with others that your anger sounds a bit misplaced. If my
   parent in law was very ill I would assume my role was to take care of
   everything else so that DH could be there. When you asked your DH to be
   there, he came.
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   I agree with Hoppinggreen. When my mother died, I was furious with my
   dear sweet kindly Mum in law for still being alive. It lasted about 6
   months. I didn't tell my husband because I knew I was being
   unreasonable and time eventually sorted out my feelings.
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   GertrudeTheGuineapig Thu 18-Oct-18 10:13:48

   I think it depends on your relationship with your in laws. It sounds as
   if they’re generally supportive and involved with your dcs etc?
   My mum died very suddenly a few years ago and my in laws were very
   insensitive about it. Tbh I still haven’t completely forgiven them. It
   was my sils who were the problem and I can’t see them as decent people
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   Honestly, for the first few months of a bereavement, I would avoid
   conflict and challenging your husband and in laws. It will make you
   feel worse. Just give yourself time to grieve in private. You are
   understandably angry with the universe for the loss of your mother and
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   sure it is all still very numb.
   I can see why you are angry. At your most difficult time it seems like
   your in laws disappeared and left you all to it. Then we’re playing
   happy families without apparent thought for the hell you were in.
   I think you need to talk to your husband to find out why the day care
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   So sorry for your losses you've obviously been through hell.
   As in-laws, especially 'his' parents, it's not easy to get it right.
   Maybe they thought they were doing what was best, stepping back and
   letting you and your immediate family deal with the situation
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   You sound to have a very supportive and lovely husband, please don't
   allow your sadness drive a wedge between you. If you said harsh words
   to him or your in-laws when you were at your lowest speak to them, try
   and heal any rifts, for your sake and your family's. As you've sadly
   lost your own family, your husband's family is what you and your
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   Tillytrotter1 I have no imediate family, they have all passed. All I
   have left is my husband, kids and in laws. I needed my husband to be
   there for me but he couldn’t as he had the kids and the in-laws were
   probably off shopping or something
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