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How to Deal with Covert Narcissist (Or ‘Victim’) Parents or In-Laws

   By Samantha Rodman, PhD
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     * The parent who needs to have all holidays at his home because he
       “can’t travel”.
     * The in-law who makes cutting remarks to you at all occasions but
       then cries to your spouse that you’re the one who doesn’t like her.

   Here, I discuss how to cope with parents or in-laws who don’t respect
   you, and a lot of that post is applicable here. With covert
   narcissists, though, it can be harder not to blame yourself for the
--
   with either narcissists or covert narcissists are those who have low
   self-esteem themselves. For instance, if you think you’re not much to
   look at, and your mother-in-law’s comments are about your weight gain
   and boring clothes, then you may not get as angry as you should,
   because you secretly agree with her. But if you work on developing
   better self-esteem, then you may find yourself growing angrier at your
   parent/in-law while you grow healthier yourself. This is why when some
   people go to therapy and grow more confident, their relationships with
   dysfunctional family members actually grow worse, at least for a time,
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       growing, and to notice how they don’t feel as scared of or pitying
       toward you as you did with your own parent.
    5. Assert yourself kindly and firmly with your parent/in-law;
       compromise, but not to excess. Try not to raise your voice or to
       engage on an emotional level. Stick to facts. For example, “I’m
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       will call you that day and see you next month for Christmas.”

   Stay strong if you have a victim/covert narcissist parent or in-law in
   your life, and focus on these tips and on self-care before, after and
   during interactions. And share this article with people in your life
   that want to better understand why you feel so frustrated with your
   parent or in-law!
   How to Deal with Covert Narcissist (Or ‘Victim’) Parents or In-Laws

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   APA Reference
   Rodman, S. (2018). How to Deal with Covert Narcissist (Or ‘Victim’)
   Parents or In-Laws. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 6, 2020, from
   https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-covert-narcissist-or-vic
   tim-parents-or-in-laws/
   Scientifically Reviewed Scientifically Reviewed
   Last updated: 8 Jul 2018 (Originally: 16 Apr 2017)