* The moment you notice a negative pattern emerging, deal with it
       quickly. Don’t wait until you are ready to tear your hair out to
       approach Mom or Mom-in-Law.
     * Choose a time when everyone is calm to discuss conflicts — and
       remember that your parent or parent-in-law has your best interests
       at heart, and your child’s too. Put the child’s needs first – not
       your own.
--
   need to say — clearly, respectfully and, if necessary, more than once.
   Meagan Hammerbacher, mom to a 3- and 5-year-old, is committed to clear
   and consistent communication with her mother-in-law — even if it hasn’t
   yielded the desired results just yet.

   “I have asked my mother-in-law multiple times to please refrain from
   giving my children sweet treats and sugary drinks, and to consider the
   food that she generally feeds my children. Sadly, she rarely listens to
--

   Such harmony between partners is the ideal first step in approaching
   tough conversations with a parent or parent-in-law, but it has not led
   to harmony in this case. “In all honesty I do not see the situation
   being resolved because his mother is of a different era,” Hammerbacher
--
   ... I’ve learned to just be quiet, observe and chime in when I really
   think I should chime in,” she said. Recently she had a disagreement
   with her daughter and daughter-in-law about giving their daughter apple
   juice while babysitting. While the mothers stood firm — no juice —
   Davis told me that they are open to advice in other areas. “I think
--
   mutually supportive, especially during times of conflict, experts
   stressed. Demonstrating positive examples of communication and
   compromise with a parent or parent-in-law will help your child navigate
   her own approach to problem solving, as these are skills that “make
   emotions and the world feel manageable,” Gottlieb added.