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Telltale signs of toxic, narcissistic in-laws and how you can learn to deal with
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     * Narcissistic parents-in-law are incredibly cruel, often going out
       of their way to make sure their son or daughterʼs spouse doesnʼt
       feel welcome, according to trauma therapist Shannon Thomas.
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     * Sometimes they are wise to it, but itʼs still incredibly hard to
       deal with their mind games.
     * For example, narcissistic in-laws will play favorites, isolate the
       target from their own children, and lie about anything to fit their
       narrative and make the target feel excluded.
     * Narcissists often act like theyʼre reading from the same
       instruction manual, so there are some telltale signs that a toxic
       in-law is what youʼre dealing with.
     * Visit Insiderʼs homepage for more stories.

   Imagine marrying into a family and realizing your mother and
   father-in-law are hellbent on destroying your entire life,
   relationship, and self-esteem. It may sound like the plot of a
   psychological thriller, but toxic, narcissistic in-laws are a reality
   many people live with.

   "Narcissistic in-laws are incredibly cruel," trauma therapist Shannon
   Thomas told Insider. "Everybody wants to be a part of a healthy, fun
   family, but when you are the target, with that sense of belonging and
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   not."

   Narcissistic in-laws can ruin a marriage, Thomas said, especially if
   the son or daughter is oblivious to the games their parents are
   playing. Thomas said itʼs probably because they are in denial about the
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   Narcissists often act like theyʼre reading from the same instruction
   manual, so there are some telltale signs that a toxic in-law is what
   youʼre dealing with.

Narcissistic in-laws like to play favorites

   It can sometimes take grandchildren to be in the picture for the
   narcissistic in-laws to show their true colors. For instance, in one
   family Thomas knew, two grandchildren had the same name.

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   "The cruelty is youʼll see them be very close to some family members,
   and they will definitely bring some in-laws into the fold," Thomas
   said. "Itʼs because they like the family members that are most like
   them."
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   "Especially if theyʼve not made an attempt to be like them," said
   Thomas. "If the in-law has continued to stand in their own
   independence, thatʼs when they really attack."

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   For example, a woman recently sent an absurd and disturbing letter to
   The Cutʼs "Ask Polly" column, where she explained that her in-laws
   refused to stop serving her mushrooms even though she is deathly
   allergic to them.

   Read more: A woman told an advice column that her in-laws wonʼt stop
   serving her mushrooms despite her deadly allergy, and a trauma
   therapist thinks it could be a sign of toxic narcissism
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Youʼll notice a lot of mean behaviors

   Other games the narcissist in-laws play include:
     * Planning a trip and only inviting the targeted spouse a couple of
       days before. This way they can say "we invited them, they just
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   She said itʼs important targeted partners realize they are not the
   distorted version of themselves the narcissistic in-laws are painting
   them to be. To remind themselves of their worth they should spend time
   with friends and put boundaries in place with how, where, and when they
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     * Lifestyle UK