Husband, his mum, dad, our family, emotional abuse

Sorry first of all as this post will be hard to read, as my thoughts are all over the place. I need help to think all this mess through, I don't have anyone else to talk to in the real world. Our background, Iam 29 my husband is 33' we have three kids, 7,4,1. My husband was a teacher till he left last year due to stress. I am at home with children till youngest is in school.

My mum and stepdad are around, but we are not really close, they don't look after the kids I can't rely on them if you see what I mean. I wouldn't ask for help as they can be quite too faced and want to be paid back for the favour, I find it hard to deal with, I feel they can't be trusted.

We have got into lots of financial trouble as my husband earnings have dropped by 10k pair year and we are feeling it. We were in debt anyway and it's just got worse. He quit with no job lined up 6 weeks after the littlest baby was born.

So we have had to move into my husband dads house and basically live in one room. It's not ideal, but we would be homeless otherwise. It's awkward as I feel greatful that he has let us moving in but it's also a nightmere, I don't want to be here, we have left friends, moved schools,started again.

It's been really hard the past few years, we have had lots of problems, I believe my husband to be emotionally abusive, I am trapped for now, I don't know if we can stay together long term. All the recent troubles have been a distraction, so we are not having issues as often.

Right the main issue is that my husband mum and dad have been making things harder and it's putting pressure on us we don't need at the moment.

I was talking to his dad the other night, just making small talk, he spends his Sunday's at my mother in laws house, they have been seperated 20 odd years. I asked was mother in law asking about the kids, he's said yeah, then somehow the convocation moved on to how she feels that we stop her from seeing the kids, I don't answer my phone and reply to texts. Which is simply not true.

My mother in law has been the cause of so many problems, I am just now seeing how much, my husband mum and dad have hurt him.

She left him when he was a teenager, just pissed off to live the life she wanted, and now she constantly seeks validation for her actions from my husband. She has managed to twist this all around so that she is the victim, so the issue for her is ' why doesn't my son like, me'boohoo. Rather than what have I done to make him feel that way. She insists that she left to look after her older son who is mentally ill, in fact she had an affair and just passed off, to buy her own house and didn't take the kids.

I can give a few examples of her behaviour, it's all about her, her feelings, always prioritising, emotionally manipulating, she ignores our son, so ott with our daughter, she makes comparrisons and puts me down to make herself feel better, lives viceriously through her daughter,

- she bursts out crying when you pull her up on her behaviour
- she makes comparisons and obviously favours her grandchildren
- she talks and talks and talks about herself her needs, her pain
- we were talking about us moving in to my father in laws house she says, will (our boys) be sharing a room T and D shared a room until D was pushed out by (my father in law) she sees this as a reason why she left.
-she doesn't respect boundries, pushes to get what he wants, wouldn't take no for an answer when she was told no you can't take our kids out, father in law kept pressurising us.
This is so long and complicated, I can't explain very well, but I hope someone with experience can help me by telling me you recognise this behaviour. She has rewritten the past to suit her conscience, she lies and lies, crushes everyone's feelings, minimises, dynies, goes nuts if you don't except her fersion if things. This is the issue, my husband resents having to swallow this bullshit, yet she is the one that's hurt, been wronged.

The last time she had an outburst like this was when she corned me and just talked on and on and I have heard it all before, she is guilty but rather than facing up she just emotionally manipulates you. It's all more fucking complicated, as she doesn't seem to like our son, she has given us money in the past, let us stay with her, she turned up to see our first daughter and cried and made it all about her, I had had an awful PPH and was so weak.

My husband has a big argument with his dad the other night after he had said the we are keeping our kids from her. My husband is terribly repressed, he told him how it felt to be bullied by her, that she had took away his voice, how they drank and took drugs, it made him feel scared, they argued, he cried himself to sleep and he said.... Is that it. I just can't understand how he can say that, it's so cruel.

So basically she has bullied him, his dad has enabled his mum, we are now picking on poorV the victim, withholding our children. It's still all going on only our kids are involved now.

His dad rang her (v) up the other day to say our middle boy was in hospital, his is in often poor lad, he told her and said, 'I thought I would ring and tell you as now one else was going to bother'. He feeds this victim status, to please her. My son couldn't breath, I wasn't thinking about her fucking feelings about not being informed. I wa so fucking angry with my father in law, I hate being in this situation.

My husband has emotionally abused me in the past, so it's all a it much to deal with, aim not the same person, the things he has done and said, spin around my head, making it hard for me to support him. He feels it's all in his face now we live with his dad, throwing it all back up, his dad supporting his mum to bully him us.

So if that made any sense please advise me, what can I do, for the good of my kids? Thanks x

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